By : Ms. Charlene E. Everson, Chairperson, The Obama Fan Club of Greater Tuscaloosa; Democrat; Believer in Miracles; High School Graduate.
President Barack Hussein Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize yesterday, and for good reason. Despite Mr. Obama's repeated successes over the past nine months, many critics say that he has "not done enough" to warrant the coveted international award. They say he has not had enough time to amass the achievements necessary to deserve it.
We strongly disagree. Mr. Obama's achievements speak for themselves. The committee presented the Peace Prize to Mr. Obama not only because he ended the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and convinced Osama bin Laden to open fast food restaurants (featuring trademark Tali-Shakes and al-Sadr Sandwiches at 5000 US locations), but also because he perfected a cold fusion procedure that solved the world's energy crisis overnight. Mr. Obama is not just a concerned politician; he is a first-rate scientist, ethicist and humanitarian. The Nobel Committee considered all his strengths before it awarded him the prize. It was neither hasty nor careless.
Mr. Obama deserved this prize. Since January 20, 2009, Mr. Obama has achieved monumental advances in many fields. He walked on water on March 14, prompting ecstatic international celebrations. He healed incurable cancer victims on June 2 by touching their heads and earnestly repeating: "Together, we can." And on July 7, he traveled to Zaire, where he both stopped the war between rival militias and magically caused 600000 tons of food to appear. This immediately ended the famine plaguing Central Africa. Mr. Obama's compassionate efforts to help the sick and the hungry clearly warrant his consideration for the Prize.
Mr. Obama is not just a great President. He is a miracle worker. His miracles offer change we can believe in. Bullets fired in his direction veer off target. He can survive plane crashes and raging infernos. He can fall 1000 feet and survive. Not even earthquakes can stop him from bringing hope and relief to every corner of the globe, including Armenia and Turkey. True to his campaign promises, he has stopped all hatred and racism worldwide. Former enemies are now lovers, whether gay or straight. He has saved people from volcanic eruptions, discovered an AIDS vaccine and punished ruthless criminals who mistreat livestock. In a word, Mr. Obama respects all life, not just human life. That commitment to life won the Committee's praise.
In addition to all these achievements, Mr. Obama has brought love and happiness to everyone on earth. Since taking office, violent crime has ceased worldwide. No one has committed suicide because everyone feels that life is worth living again. Sales for prescription antidepressants have completely stopped. Put simply, now that Mr. Obama is the American President, everyone on earth is happy. Before he took office, Mr. Obama said the world could be a better place, and so it is. Thank you, Mr. President.
Obama has done all this in nine months. Imagine what he will do in four years. Never has a Nobel Peace Prize been more deserved. We salute the Nobel Committee for recognizing Barrack Hussein Obama, the Savior of the World.
1 comment:
I hadn't even read about the cold fusion business yet. IMHO he had it locked in before that, but that just makes the critics look pretty silly.
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