IF PALIN WINS, OESTERHOUDT EMIGRATES

I CAN PROMISE YOU THIS...

I just read an article in the New York Times detailing Sarah Palin's increasing political influence. It mentioned that she is positioning herself for future elections and that she even is "educating" herself about relevant events so she can better compete with her opponents. She has walled off her home and turned it into a "compound" for conservative patrons. She makes daily Twitter broadcasts to millions outlining her "rogue" approach to American government, namely, that there should basically be no government--beyond a police department and prison system, of course. You know, to lock up undesirables, communists and the like.

I guess that's what they mean by "The Tea Party Movement."

Well, no matter what they mean by it, today I am making a promise:

I, Balthazar Oesterhoudt, author of that certain online periodical entitled "Reason, Commerce, Justice & Free Beer," published in the GREAT REPUBLIC of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, do hereby promise and commit to LEAVE this GREAT REPUBLIC of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA if--and on the express condition that--SARAH PALIN is elected President of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

That's my promise. If Palin wins, Oesterhoudt emigrates. That's all there is to it.

So, if Palin takes the White House, Oesterhoudt is taking Berlin. End of story.

I usually don't write on the weekends. But the sheer potential horror of a Palin government moved me to write this morning. I don't have a complicated message today. All I want to say is that if the American people really elect Palin, I have no place among them. It's no answer to just cower among my fellow radicals in New York. If Palin wins, it symbolizes a much larger problem than mere sectional differences between Americans. It symbolizes the victory of foolishness over reason, ignorance over learning and backwardness over tolerance.

So again, if Palin wins, ich bin ja raus hier... I'm outta here !