PROSAIC PEOPLE’S FEDERAL ALLIANCE FOR THE STATEMENT OF VAGUELY PROFOUND, PRETENTIOUS-SOUNDING AND PERFECTLY OBVIOUS TRUTHS

POLITICAL PARTIES FOR A CHANGING WORLD

By : Prof. Martin F. Fillmore, Ph.D. (English Literature), Party Spokesman and Chief Rhetorician; Former Chief Executive Officer, B. R. Blandings Publishing Co., Inc., purveyors of simple literature for simple minds; Professor of Writing (Stanford University); Screenwriter; Winner, Pulitzer Prize for Literature (the novel “Waiting” (1997)).

We live. We die. We see. We have eyes. As humans, we experience. We were born. We have parents. That means we have mothers. We also have fathers. We have families. We are one. We are Americans. We live in a country. It is called America. Indians used to live here. Now we do.

We are the Prosaic People’s Federal Alliance for the Statement of Vaguely Profound, Pretentious-Sounding and Perfectly Obvious Truths. That means we tell the truth. Truth means we do not lie. We say things the way they are. Often, things are simple. We tell simple truths. Sometimes the truth is vaguely profound. Sometimes it is not. Whether profound or not, we tell the truth. The truth unites us. The truth is now.

Often people do not say things because they sound too obvious. But we are not afraid to do exactly that. We are not afraid to say that trees bloom in spring. We are not afraid to say that snow falls in winter. And we are not afraid to say that most people have two hands. In life, even obvious things must be said. We gain nothing through vagueness. We must communicate. What is obvious to one man may not be so to another.

We can solve problems if we communicate. There is no need to be vague. We are prosaic. We do not aim to confuse. We simply say what is obvious. The truth is obvious. As prosaic people, we declare obvious truths. We do not lie. We might not impress, but we do not lie, either. In politics, simplicity works. It is better to say obvious truths than subtle lies. We are not afraid.

Politics involve many people. We are the people. We stand united. We hold beliefs. We cherish ideas. We all have different ideas because we are all different people. We are different, yet the same. We are different because we all have different names. We are the same because we are all people. In this country, it is OK to be both different and the same. There is no need to fight. Fighting involves disagreement. Disagreement involves intolerance. But we do not disagree. We are not intolerant. We have strength in ourselves. We are not weak because the truth is strong. We are not weak because we tell the truth.

But we do not tell complex truths. We tell perfectly obvious truths. We say that the country is broke because it is. Our country is broke because it owes more money than it has. Broke means you have no money. If you owe more than you have, you have no money. That means you are broke. We are not afraid to say it. It is true. We do not shrink from truth. Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes it does not. We say it no matter what. We may be prosaic, but we say what is true. We do not misrepresent or deceive. We say what we see. We see that the country is broke. That’s why we say it’s broke. That makes us different from other political parties. We value truth. They don’t.

White people live in America. So do black people and Asian people. White people have white skin and various hair colors. Black people have black skin and black hair. Asians have parents from Asia and black hair. But we are all people. We are all Americans. We all live in a country called America. No one can argue that. We do not shy away from saying it. Some call us stupid. But are we lying? Who can say that people who live in America are not Americans? And who can say that a person with white skin is not white? We are not afraid to say what is obvious. We do not need complexity.

We can solve problems if we keep them simple. Complex means there is too much information at one time. Complex means the information is hard to understand. Simple means there is not much information at one time. It also means that it is not hard to understand. We trust the people. People do not want complexity. They want simplicity. Life is complex enough. They don’t want more complexity. We are prosaic. That means we tell simple, obvious truths. Simple, obvious truths make people feel good because they are easy to understand. We want the people to feel good about their politicians. We do not want deception. We do not want bitterness. We just want simple, obvious truths. The sun is hot. Ice is cold. The sky is blue. What more do we need to know?

We are the Prosaic People’s Federal Alliance. We stand for truth in government. We do not lie. We are easy to understand. We know how to solve problems. We do not delude ourselves with complexities. America is at war. America faces financial crisis. America faces employment crisis. These are not good things. War is not good. Neither is financial crisis or employment crisis. It is better when people work in peace. It is better when there is no financial crisis. In short, we must solve these problems. Complexity will not solve them. Simplicity will. People will follow simple instructions. But they cannot understand complex ones. That is why we give simple instructions.

If you believe in simplicity, vote for us. If you are not afraid to say what is obvious, vote for us. If you dislike complexity, vote for us. We are your party. We say what you want to hear. With us, you will not be confused. We do not talk about things you don’t understand. Rather, we talk about things you understand. We say that health is better than sickness. We say that peace is better than war. And we say that equality is better than inequality. Who can dispute these things? We do not argue. We simply say simple things, even if they are obvious.

There is another path—a simple path. Do not despair. Life need not be complex. We can live simple lives in peace. We must merely stay prosaic. We must merely say what we see. There is no need to over-think. There is no need to over-hypothesize. No, it is enough to say that grass is green, and that green is not red. If you are sick and tired of complexity, join us. Be satisfied with simplicity. It is all right. We do not need more. Because the ocean is wide, and so is the plain. Man is small. The world is large. It overwhelms us. It scares us. But we need not be scared. We must merely stick to what we see and what we know. We can do it. We just need to stay simple.

Put a party in power that is not afraid to say obvious truths. Truth is good because it is better than lying. Vote for truth, even if it is obvious. Vote for simplicity, because simplicity is better than complexity. Haven’t we had enough complexity? Let us live our lives in peace. Let us be prosaic. We are all Americans. We are one. We all have mothers and fathers. We all breathe. We have lungs. We need oxygen. We all speak English, or at least try to. What more do we need? Vote for simple truths today. The era of complexity is over. Do yourself a favor. Be simple. Be obvious. Be prosaic. It is easy. It is painless. It is good.

Painlessness is better than pain. And good is better than bad. The choice is obvious.