REAL ESTATE TIPS FROM THE PROS
By : Mr. Gabriel F. Ziegenbaum, Senior Partner, The Equity Family LLC (A Real Estate Holding Company Specializing in Must-Do Sales); Licensed Market Broker; Licensed Fisherman, Town of Poughkeepsie, New York.
At The Equity Family LLC, we sell and lease attractive properties throughout the New York metropolitan area. We are committed to providing quality services to our customers. That means dealing fairly, fully and honestly. When our agents show properties, we tell the whole story. And when deal time comes, we make sure that our customers know everything they need to know.
We believe that fairness is the best way to do business. We understand that buying or leasing a home can be stressful. That is why we strive to make the experience as easy as possible with our "Fair Shake Guarantee™." We guarantee our customers that they will get the fairest possible deal and price allowable under applicable New York State law. We understand that many people are cynical about property sales. But we buck the trend: We are proud to make a commitment to fairness.
We think that customers should know what they are signing. All too often, buyers and renters hastily read 45-page leases or sale contracts without really looking at what they say. After all, who knows what the "Parol Evidence Rule notwithstanding applicable New York exclusions, et seq." means, or even "the right to quiet enjoyment having been waived, it being the intention of Lessor to obviate all Rights appurtenant hereto, there shall be no cause of action, in either law or equity, as against that certain Lessor as hereinabove named and described." We do not believe that sellers should confuse customers with legal gobbeldeygook. Rather, we think that buyers and renters should know exactly what the contract says.
Our lawyers do not like our "Fair Shake Guarantee™." They say it leaves open too many liabilities. They even say that it is much more profitable to write contracts inscrutably than clearly. Although we agree that profits are important, we think integrity is more important. We want our customers to know exactly what they are signing, even if that scares them away from a deal. For us, honesty is the best policy. And contrary to our lawyers' admonishments, we have stayed profitable every year since we opened our doors. In our view, honesty is its own reward.
To demonstrate our commitment to fair dealing and transparency in property sales and rentals, we would like to share our standard lease format with the public. This lease tells potential renters everything they need to know about their obligations, rights and powers in a property relationship. It also tells them what their landlords can and cannot do under law. We believe that the key to economic prosperity is knowledge. That is why we want to tell the public about our standard-form lease. Our economy grows when everyone does business with confidence. When customers see that The Equity Family guarantees fairness, every customer will feel confident. Nothing hurts business more than a suspicious client base. Here at the Equity Family, we make sure that no one stays suspicious. We tell everyone exactly what the contract says in plain, layman's English. You don't need a lawyer to understand our lease. You won't find any "pursuant" or "notwithstanding same" in our lease. It won't even take you 10 minutes to read.
Do business with confidence. Read this lease. You will never have to read another one; every lease says exactly what this lease says. Know your rights. Know your responsibilities. And understand your place in every commercial relationship. Because confident customers are good customers (R).
LEASE
1. The Equity Family LLC ("Lessor") promises to allow You ("Lessee") to remain on a property it owns, namely: 12 Church Avenue, Apartment 4C, New York, New York ("Property"), from January 1, 2010 until December 31, 2010.
2. In return for Lessor's promise to allow Lessee to remain on Property, Lessee promises to pay four thousand three hundred dollars ($4300) on the first of every month, beginning January 1, 2010, until December 1, 2010.
3. Lessor has almost all advantages under this Lease.
4. Whenever unexpected expenses arise, chances are Lessee will have to pay for them.
5. In case of dispute, it is presumed that Lessor will win, unless a court says otherwise.
6. Lessee has no right to sue Lessor for anything, unless a court says otherwise.
7. If a court says something against Lessor's interests, Lessee agrees to pay for all Lessor's costs.
8. Lessee agrees that there is nothing is unfair about this Lease. Lessee would not have signed it otherwise. As a result, Lessee waives any claim that this Lease is "unconscionable" or "unenforceable."
9. Lessor promises to provide a safe Property, but will contest any claim that anything about the Property is unsafe, and even blame Lessee for causing the problem in the first place.
10. Anything Lessee does to improve Property will inure to Lessor's benefit. EXAMPLE: If Lessee buys a new fridge and installs it on Property, the fridge immediately belongs to Lessor. Lessee cannot sue Lessor for this result, no matter what the law or Constitution says. It is not theft. It is a contract--and Lessee signed it. Theft is illegal. Contracts are legal.
11. If Lessee breaks this Lease, he owes Lessor every month's unpaid rent. Lessor has no obligation to honor any request for mercy or mitigation. EXAMPLE: You break the lease on September 1, 2010. That means you owe rent for September, October, November and December, each at $4300 per month: You owe $17,200. If you don't pay, Lessor will get a judgment against you and tap into your bank account to get every nickel you owe: That's the law.
12. Lessor understands that he enjoys most of the power under this Lease. Lessee understands that Lessee enjoys very little power under this Lease. In all cases not specifically addressed in this Lease, Lessor shall prevail, unless a court says otherwise.
13. Lessee may not destroy Property. If he does, he must pay for all repairs at a double rate. If Lessee refuses to pay, Lessor gets a default judgment against Lessee and can tap into his bank account to get whatever amount he wants. EXAMPLE: Your dog destroys Lessor's parquet floors with urine. Lessor's contractor charges $5400 to repair it. You owe $10,800. You don't pay. The Court enters judgment against you for $10,800. The Sheriff authorizes Lessor to garnish your bank account and transfer $10,800 to Lessor.
14. This is the final agreement. It can't be changed, unless Lessor wants to change it.
_______________________
THE EQUITY FAMILY LLC
LESSOR
________________________
WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS
LESSEE
______________________
PERSON WATCHING YOU SIGN FOR $1.05
NOTARY
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