UPDATE AND A WORD ABOUT MY FUTURE PROJECTS

You've probably noticed that I haven't posted anything in a few days. Once again, I've been extremely busy handling my partner's health problems. I spent the better part of the last two days in the hospital. I didn't sleep much during that time and when I got up this morning I was too exhausted to think, let alone generate a decent post. Aside from that, I was out of town this weekend and have been occupied with lots of new things; and don't worry: They are good for me!

Still, all these events have denied me my writing time. That bothers me on many levels. It makes me feel better just to let you all know what's going on with me, since I'm accustomed to a certain weekly output. On the other hand, I realize that life does not always offer the best circumstances in which to create. And if I have to go into "writing dormancy" more than usual in the coming weeks, I will have to face it. I apologize in advance if I don't crank out my hoped-for three or four posts every week.

I always get so many ideas during my breaks. When I just live and observe, I amass new thoughts, experiences and impressions. I know those ideas will all buoy me when I settle down into another long writing phase. I've actually jotted down three big ideas for longer pieces in the future. Although I do not have the time or space to discuss them all here, I will say that they involve these issues: Truth; confessions; power; capital punishment; free will; death; sexuality; categorization; identity; desire; subjectivity; happiness; prejudice and reflection. I have conceived both fictional and nonfictional structures in which to explore these themes. But my piece on sexuality will be part reflective, part anecdotal and part polemical. Think of it as a sequel to Foucault's work on sexuality, with a personal twist to make it accessible.

To share some detail from my own personal experience lately, I have been entertaining serious doubts about my own sexuality. And my doubts move in an unconventional direction. Namely, for almost 14 years I have been quick to characterize myself as "gay." But in fact I'm not so sure what that means anymore. By the same token, I cannot say what "straight" means, either. In truth, the only reliable conclusion I've made in this inquiry is that sexual identity is never clear-cut. That is because it reflects basic desire. Basic desire, in turn, is purely subjective. It is impossible to categorize desire because there is no limit to individuals' deepest subjective tastes.

I don't think people appreciate just how fluid sexual identity is. That is what I will address in my piece. In the process, I will discuss the unfortunate human tendency to associate absolute meaning with artificial categories. I plan to show that categories like "gay" and "straight" are not talismanic. Rather, I will show that they are at best "rough guidelines" that exist in various proportions in us all at different times in our lives.

I also plan to discuss why I think the term "gay" is absurd. When it comes to categorizing groups, sexual "orientation" is a dubious--and barely unifying--characteristic. That is not to say that people who identify themselves as "gay" do not merit certain assistance or solicitude under law. My main argument will be that "gay" is not a good identifier, nor is it absolute. There are plenty of people in the world--including me--who find men attractive, yet have no difficulty whatever finding women attractive, too. The bottom line is that one desire never excludes another. And "gay" is a category that essentially implicates a particular sexual desire.

So that's what's on my mind these days. Forgive me for the sparser posting. I promise there is plenty more to come. I have a whole list to get to!

Take care. And thanks as always for reading my archives.

Oesterhoudt

THE MYTH OF EMPLOYMENT IN AMERICA

OESTERHOUDT STRIKES

Over the next few days, I will write several interrelated essays about employment in the United States. I often write about employment, both in expository and in satirical form. But in these essays, I want to methodically go to the heart. I want to write "Oesterhoudt's Manifesto" on employment in America.

I believe that America has a dangerous "employment fetish." It has completely warped people's minds. True, America has always been "all about work." Yet in recent decades, the line between life and work has blurred considerably. People fanatically give themselves over to their employment without a second thought. They sacrifice what little dignity they have serving a master for comparatively little compensation. And they chase employment like the Holy Grail: A whole social system of propaganda has grown up around the idea that "you must have a job;" and that you should be ashamed of yourself if you don't.

But it is not easy to get a job these days. After all, everyone wants one, and they do not just magically appear. You can't watch the news without hearing about America's "critical job situation." Most people cannot understand why it is so difficult to get jobs. I will explain that the archetypal private sector job is no entitlement. Rather, it is a matter of grace.

In my essays, I plan to utter the final word about the employment "hustle" in America. To do this, I will explain what private sector jobs mean in strictly economic terms. I plan to explain that "jobs" are not rewards for employees. Rather, they are calculated investments in which the employer gambles that human labor capacity will make him a profit. If he does, wonderful. But jobs mean employer expense, too. And if a job costs more than it yields, out goes the employee, even a former "Employee of the Month."

Jobs are simple mathematics: If they cost more than they generate, they are gone.

This is why I recoil from all the rhetoric about "private sector job creation." It is impossible to stimulate job creation without flushing private employers with cash. Employees are expensive investments; and employers can only gamble on investments if they have money. In this light, private employment depends on healthy economic times for the employer. If he's not making a profit in his field, he won't be hiring anyone, even Superman. In brief, it is impossible to talk about "job creation" in the abstract. Only the changeable winds of private market economics dictate whether more employees get to feed at the employer's profit trough.

I also plan to write about the social mythology that pervades discourse about employment. To deconstruct the myths, I will explore language relating to employment. In the past, I have debunked commerce by exploring common commercial words and their etymologies. Now, I will debunk employment by exploring words like "job," "occupation," "career" and "profession." I will dive into etymology to analyze what conceptual complexes operate in these words. In the end, I will show that employment is nothing to glorify. Rather, I will demonstrate that it is just a crude, unfair system that perpetuates social inequalities and obliterates individuality in society.

I will begin addressing these issues tomorrow. As I have mentioned in recent weeks, my schedule has become somewhat more hectic lately. I will do my best to write all the essays on employment this week. But just in case I miss a day, you can attribute it to my exciting new schedule.

Thanks for reading!

Oesterhoudt

ANOTHER BUSY WEEK

Well, it looks like I won't have too much time to write until late this week. In a way I'm disappointed, but in another way I'm happy to see that times are changing. For almost two years, I wrote this blog every morning because I literally could not leave the house. Now, as my partner heals, I have more and more time to pursue life outside. I might even make a few dollars this week. Who knows? Believe me: I need the money; I live in New York and landlords don't take excuses for long.

So against that background, please forgive my minimal production this week. I still have a long list of issues to discuss. I just won't get to it until Thursday!

Thanks for your patience. And thanks always for reading my catalog.

Oesterhoudt

GERMAN BREAK

In 1999, I lived with a German family in Berlin. In retrospect, it was probably the happiest year of my life. I was still very young, but I just remember feeling exhilarated every day in my new environment. My German "parents" seemed to respect and understand me better than my own parents. It broke my heart to go home when I did. Although I have been back to Berlin many times over the last 11 years, I have never recaptured the pure joy I used to feel when I lived there.

As the years passed, I gradually lost touch with my German parents and their two daughters. I regretted this very deeply. I tried several times to contact them but to no avail. That is, until yesterday. My sister called me from Brooklyn to tell me that my German mother had called looking for me. She gave my sister her number. I was overjoyed.

I called my German mother early this morning. She was busy and couldn't talk, but we agreed to have a nice conversation tomorrow morning. I was a little disappointed that we could not talk at that moment, but I'm so glad we've reconnected. Now, I'm just full of memories and old emotions. I can't concentrate at all on my writing, so I'm going to take a day off. Tomorrow I might take another day off so I can talk to the German parents I haven't seen in 7 years.

I'm really quite excited! Hopefully I will have time to write a post, too, but if I don't, you know the reason.

Thanks again for checking in!

Oesterhoudt

HOPEFUL TIMES

I've been getting a lot of phone calls lately. Never fear; there's been no bad news. On the contrary, I have lately reconnected with many old friends and I hope to see them over the next couple weeks. Additionally, I have received a few offers to do some "paying" work from home, and with my finances as critical as they are, I am loath to turn them down.

Against that background, I am going to do my absolute best to keep up my writing schedule. But in the coming weeks, I may have to without a post for a few more days than usual. I apologize for that. On the other hand, I am grateful that I am starting to spend more time out of the house. For the first time in over a year, my partner is feeling well enough for me to reasonably start pursuing some additional interests, seeing more people and rekindling a social life that has been dormant for quite some time now. To put this all in perspective, I have not been able to leave the house for more than a few hours at a time since late 2008. That is changing now.

My life is getting richer every day. I know that richness will aid my writing. This is certainly not to say that I am going to stop writing. In fact, I am committed to this blog more now than I have ever been. I am grateful for my readers and I always look forward to hearing from you. I am proud to have amassed so much writing about so many subjects.

Having said all this, I will be branching out a bit more in the coming weeks. If that means two and three posts per week rather than the customary five, I am willing to pay that price. It is simply a question of free time. When I have it, I will write. When I have something else going on, I won't. But all in all, I think time off the blog will be my exception, not my rule. I just want to keep the option open. And I wanted to let you all know about it.

Thanks again to all who stop by for Reason, Commerce, Justice and Free Beer! I am excited about the future. And even when I don't write, I experience, observe and analyze my surroundings. Experience always delivers me onto fertile creative grounds; life is never really dull when you dare to live it.

See you all soon!

Oesterhoudt

QUICK BREAK

My Mom dropped into town today. I haven't seen her in a month. So I will go see Mom today!

I actually needed a small break anyway to handle a few more administrative things. Whenever I have errands to run, I just can't focus on my writing as much as I'd like.

I have a long list of new issues to discuss, including some troublesome insights about contracts. Aren't contracts wonderful? Sometimes the law favors the morally wrong party in a transaction. You know why? Because the law cares not a fig for morality. In fact, the law serves economic values. And when it comes to social influence, economic values utterly overshadow morality. There's right and wrong: As long as big money isn't at stake. When it is at stake, other rules apply.

I will be back to tackle these questions tomorrow morning. In the meantime, don't forget the archives.

Oesterhoudt

A HARBINGER

Tomorrow it looks like my week will ease up and I will have time to write! I am very excited to get back at it. And for those who don't want to wait to see what Oesterhoudt will bring tomorrow, let me just say this:

John Mayer is in for a whipping. Hardcore. I'm firing up the furnace to roast that white ass. The fact that he hails from Connecticut--like me--will not save that pearly butt from slow, hickory-smoked satirical basting.

I don't care how much sexual napalm he dropped on Jessica Simpson. I don't care if his body is a wonderland. I don't care if he disclosed Jennifer Aniston's sex perks. I don't care if he wore an embarrassing singlet on a yacht. I don't care how many battles he studied. He's getting Oesterhoudted tomorrow. And I have no sympathy for him whatsoever. Like David Mamet said in The Edge, never feel sorry for a guy who owns his own airplane.

I will take no further questions on the matter.

A domani. A demain. Hasta manana. Do zavtra. Bis morgen. Until tomorrow.

Oesterhoudt

BUSY WEEK AHEAD

It looks like next week will be quite busy for me. I have a ton of appointments. They are going to rob my mornings. I'm not looking forward to it, but at least I can anticipate it.

I always put undue stress on myself when I expect myself to generate a post every weekday. But if I explicitly "excuse" myself from writing for particular reasons, I somehow feel better about missing a few days. So I'm going to do that today: Next week, I likely will not have time to write effectively every day. If you don't see a new post each day next week, you know the reason.

Still, I am not tired at all. My inspiration level is as high as ever. I constantly get new ideas. Life is interesting and fresh. It's just that a whole crosscurrent of banal crap converged in one week; and I know it's going to keep me from writing.

There you have it. Thanks so much for reading my posts. And remember to always check the archives or--if you're feeling adventurous--try a word search. I always amuse myself by typing in certain concepts in the dialog. It reminds me how much stuff I've written about so many different subjects. It makes me proud, actually. I have a complete record about my beliefs on every issue that matters in my life. And it will last beyond my years!

Oesterhoudt

MIDWEEK BREAK ON A SNOW DAY

Early this week, I spilled much ink discussing the Supreme Court. Today, I am a little more tired than usual. I am also a little intellectually spent, so I decided to take a rest until tomorrow. Believe it or not, I am not feeling too satirical. I still have a list of potential satires to craft, but nothing really sparks my fire today. I don't write unless I feel that spark first. Uninspired writing isn't worth my time--or yours. It's OK to be uninspired when serving an economic master for pay. But not when you're investing your passion in art.

Yesterday I saw something funny. They just opened a Filene's Basement bargain store on 14th Street, near the Whole Foods between Broadway and University Place. As I walked past, I noticed this sign: "FILENE'S BASEMENT - TAKE THE ESCALATOR UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR."

I didn't know you could ever go up to get to a basement from street level. But I guess you can. After all, companies need to work with the real estate they can scrounge, even if it doesn't sync with their names.

On the other hand, "Filene's Second Floor Mezzanine" just doesn't have the same ring as "Filene's Basement." So basements can be on the second floor, at least on 14th Street.

Now I'm looking for an attic on the lower level. I'm sure I'll find one sooner or later. What's in a name, anyway?

See you tomorrow!

Oesterhoudt

IF PALIN WINS, OESTERHOUDT EMIGRATES

I CAN PROMISE YOU THIS...

I just read an article in the New York Times detailing Sarah Palin's increasing political influence. It mentioned that she is positioning herself for future elections and that she even is "educating" herself about relevant events so she can better compete with her opponents. She has walled off her home and turned it into a "compound" for conservative patrons. She makes daily Twitter broadcasts to millions outlining her "rogue" approach to American government, namely, that there should basically be no government--beyond a police department and prison system, of course. You know, to lock up undesirables, communists and the like.

I guess that's what they mean by "The Tea Party Movement."

Well, no matter what they mean by it, today I am making a promise:

I, Balthazar Oesterhoudt, author of that certain online periodical entitled "Reason, Commerce, Justice & Free Beer," published in the GREAT REPUBLIC of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, do hereby promise and commit to LEAVE this GREAT REPUBLIC of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA if--and on the express condition that--SARAH PALIN is elected President of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

That's my promise. If Palin wins, Oesterhoudt emigrates. That's all there is to it.

So, if Palin takes the White House, Oesterhoudt is taking Berlin. End of story.

I usually don't write on the weekends. But the sheer potential horror of a Palin government moved me to write this morning. I don't have a complicated message today. All I want to say is that if the American people really elect Palin, I have no place among them. It's no answer to just cower among my fellow radicals in New York. If Palin wins, it symbolizes a much larger problem than mere sectional differences between Americans. It symbolizes the victory of foolishness over reason, ignorance over learning and backwardness over tolerance.

So again, if Palin wins, ich bin ja raus hier... I'm outta here !

READING DAY AND A WORD ON WASHINGTON GRIDLOCK

I found some really interesting stuff to read today. I spent the better part of the morning paging through another book on ethics. Then I had some phone calls to make. To be blunt, it cut straight into my writing time.

But that doesn't matter. I grow when I read. I stock up on ideas. When I sit down to write tomorrow morning, I'm sure my inspiration will be flowing at full speed.

In the meantime, thanks for checking in. And don't forget to check out my archives!

I started looking through everything I've written so far about Barack Obama. I'm amazed that my satires have partially proven correct. Last year at this time, I never would have thought that my jokes about stubborn Republican opposition to Obama would have proven true. But oh how they did: Painfully so. In fact, the Republicans have succeeded in completely intimidating Obama simply by digging in their heels, crossing their arms and saying the word "no."

Democrats have not done much better. They refuse to stand up to the Republicans even though they have massive Congressional majorities. But whenever they pass something, the Republicans start screaming "tyranny by the majority." Now most Americans think Obama caused all the problems that originated more than 10 years ago. It's just hopeless.

Who'd a thunk that would have happened on February 3, 2009? I know I didn't. On the other hand, perhaps we all expected just a little too much from the Washington political system. I don't blame Obama as much as I blame the entire wretched two-party system with its identical, wealthy members. There really is no difference between Republicans and Democrats. They all come from the same social class. They just debate each other for show. In the end, nothing changes. Nothing at all.

But at least it gives me something to satirize. I guess that's the saving grace for me. There is abiding truth to the old Russian adage that "laughter through tears" is the best kind of laughter.

Oesterhoudt

BREAK CONTINUED...

I have to travel again today, then handle more administrative stuff once a I get home late this afternoon. I didn't anticipate this yesterday, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Sorry about the interruption to my writing flow this week. Thankfully it looks like this week will prove an anomaly. Next Monday I'll be ready to put all my new ideas in writing. I have a lot outlined already. There are important things to mention these days. I'm especially looking forward to discussing the Haitian disaster--from Dick Cheney's perspective.

Stay tuned! And don't forget the archives if you need a RCJ & FB fix this weekend!

Sometimes I enjoy just typing a word into the search dialog. It pulls up all my posts that use that word. Cool stuff. But if you type the word "commerce," you'll get almost everything I've written.

Oesterhoudt

OFF TODAY

I will be traveling for most of the day today, so I won't have time to write my usual post this morning. I know what I want to write; it's just going to take a good uninterrupted stretch to get it done.

I need a manager so I can focus exclusively on my writing. I get so annoyed when administrative stuff needles me.

Thanks again for stopping by. I'm very pleased with the satires and essays I wrote this week. Check them out if you haven't already!

Oesterhoudt

CHRISTMAS BREAK

I debated whether to pursue my usual writing routine this week. Ultimately, I decided to take a year-end break. I'm going to be on the road for the next few days anyway, so it makes sense for me to pause. Looking back, I've written about 300 posts in 2009 totaling 800 pages. Even a 17th Century Protestant banker would give himself a break after so much toil.

It has been quite a year for me. Yes, I've written a mountain. But more importantly I am finding myself. Every time I put my thoughts into writing, I add a piece to my personal testament. I started this blog to illuminate my philosophy on the world and its vexing ironies. I have learned a lot about myself simply by committing my views to paper. It is strangely satisfying to see what I think about so many issues. Unlike thought, writing is visible. Twenty years from now, I will be able to return to these pages to see what I thought in 2009. That is exciting.

If you need a Reason, Commerce or Justice fix before New Year's, feel free to raid my archives. Until 2010, I will rest my mind, read and reflect. I will check in every morning to answer comments, but I think I will hold off on posting. Of course, I reserve the right to post if something truly extraordinary occurs to me. And that happens without notice.

Thank you so much to all my readers. You keep me going. As long as you're here, I'll be here, too. Knowing that people read my blog has been my Christmas present this year.

Here's my best--and completely non-satirical--wishes for a peaceful and relaxing Holiday.

Oesterhoudt

BE BACK TOMORROW

Today I had to attend to some pressing administrative nonsense. It wasn't that important; it just took a lot of time and it cost me my writing time. Oh well; these things happen once in a while. If I don't square them away, I usually get angry letters from property owners who threaten me with various civil remedies because they didn't get their $34.20 on time. Hey, I don't want to deny a creditor the time-value of his loaned money, now do I? That wouldn't be very nice.

I will be back tomorrow to write the satire I wanted to write today. Not to give too much away, but it will involve Tiger Woods and everyone's favorite Russian Prime Minister.

See you tomorrow!

Oesterhoudt

THANKSGIVING BREAK AND READING A LITTLE

Most people don't mind their "daily routines" during Thanksgiving, so I'm going to conserve my energy until Monday. I don't mind playing to an empty theatre, but for my own good I won't this time.

I've been reading an old nemesis for the last couple days: Aristotle. When I was in college, I used to define my personal philosophy against Aristotle. After all, Aristotle--as the father of modern "analysis" and a consummate biologist--believed that everything on earth had a "purpose." But the "purposes" that Aristotle ascribed to everything really were simply assumptions that carried no intrinsic weight, even if they sounded "right." Aristotle also originated the modern notion of "categorization," which is also artificial despite its organizational usefulness. It sounds great to say: "There are four kinds of goodness." Yet even momentary reflection reveals that it is preposterous to narrow something as amorphous as "good" into four absolutely rigid subdivisions.

Aristotle's methods seem suspect to a natural renegade like me. But I don't deny their influence on Western thought. I venture that Aristotle is probably the most influential secular philosopher of all time. His conclusions and observations--while replete with unjustified assumptions--nonetheless set the standard for everyone who came after him. His analytical and categorical processes remain intact in science, law, mathematics and even the arts. While we might disagree with Aristotle's judgments on some subjects, we nonetheless continue to apply his methods when "dissecting" any question into its "component parts" (analysis... literally "taking apart the whole and examining its parts").

It's worthwhile to re-read such an influential philosopher. Aristotle wrote about everything, from marine biology, to singing, to procreation, to politics, to geometry, to ethics, to law and even to drama. I like comprehensive intellects. Aristotle was definitely a comprehensive intellect who learned because he enjoyed it. He might have been wrong about many things, but I respect his contributions to knowledge. I just don't like metaphysical assumptions and assertions that "absolute truth" exists in life.

I will take up some of Aristotle's points in later essays. For now, I'm going to rest.

See you all next week!

Oesterhoudt

OFF TODAY

Last night I started sniffling, coughing and sneezing, so I took some cold meds. They knocked me out quite effectively: I was asleep by 9:30. My mind is still not clear, so I think I'll take a day off from writing to rest. I tried to sit down and write a piece this morning, but I found my mind wandering all over the place. Antihistamines make you think the strangest things. So the writing will have to wait until tomorrow.

I feel better than yesterday, though, so that's a good sign.

I am just glad that my ideas keep flowing and my creativity is still intact. I can handle a cold now and then, but I'd be really upset if I lost my inspiration. Thankfully, that's not something that dies easily.

See you very soon.

Oesterhoudt

ANOTHER BREAK

My partner is coming home today after 23 days in the hospital. For the next few weeks, I will have plenty to do as he acclimates back to life; helping him make that adjustment will undoubtedly affect my ability to write posts every day. My schedule is already filling up with appointments and errands. Nonetheless, I will try my best to find the time and energy to write. I am not going anywhere. Hopefully, I will get a chance to reflect and assemble some new ideas in the meantime.

Thanks again to all my readers. I wish I could be more productive these days. But you know the reasons why I can't be. Still, I have amassed over 1000 pages now. If you ever thirst for an essay or satire, just scroll down the archive list and enjoy. I promise I will write when I can. And when the most serious stresses have past, I can assure you that I will post every day again.

I am staying positive! I really know that things will turn out for the best. There is little evidence to support me in that belief, but that doesn't matter to me. Sometimes you just know things.

I will write as soon as I can.

Oesterhoudt

TAKING ON AYN RAND AND A WORD ON MY FOCUS THESE DAYS

A REFLECTION

Yesterday I bought Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead. For years, I've debated whether to read Rand's books. I always decided against it because I yielded to the general left-wing prejudice that Rand is a "capitalist muse" and "free market apologist." In submitting to that prejudice, I thought that because I lean toward socialism, I would inevitably feel revulsion if I read her works.

But I do not want to be intellectually prejudiced. I have always enjoyed reading authors whose ideas I detest, notably Adam Smith and St. Peter. I also really enjoy reading judicial opinions by arch-conservatives whose utter lack of sympathy provides me with prime material for satire. In short, I like understanding how my ideological opponents think. I disserve myself when I simply avoid their works. It is much better when I take the time to read them, and then ruthlessly criticize them. In most cases, my criticism takes satirical form. In some cases, however, I respond with text-based essays. In the process, I see my own values more clearly. To quote an old Chinese general (probably apocryphal): "If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you cannot lose." That explains my attitude toward reading everything, even the stuff university liberals urge me to avoid.

Ayn Rand has obviously had immense philosophical influence in America. I see people reading her books all over the place, even in the New York subway. Generally, they are well-groomed looking people (always white; usually women) with small bags who look like they are going to work or coming from work. I want to understand why her ideas have won so much traction over the years. I hear that she sings odes to the individual. In that sense, I share her views. But I also hear that she sings her odes in the key of "self-interest" and "free market economics." Here I part company with Ms. Rand. Still, I will withhold calling her books "scandalous drivel," "the most abysmal trash ever printed," "repugnant, odorous nonsense," or "sheer right-wing balderdash" until I have taken the time to read them and grasp their arguments. Contrary to most American judges' approach to judicial work, I will actually give Ms. Rand her day in Court before hanging her.

So far I have read the first two pages. I am not impressed with the style. "Wet with sunrays?" "Granite explosion?" "A body of long straight lines and angles, each curve broken into planes?" This sounds like bad high school poetry, not cogent economic analysis. But I am too hasty... perhaps in the next 600 pages I will uncover some comprehensible passages.

I also noticed that Ms. Rand published The Fountainhead in 1943. This was the height of FDR's New Deal. Was she angry about governmental intrusions into "private economic autonomy?" If she was, then her position mirrors modern-day conservative objections to increased governmental encroachments into private enterprise. Just as FDR revolutionized government's role in everyday American life during the 1930s and 1940, so too is Obama "threatening" increased government involvement in American life. I think this makes reading Rand a worthwhile enterprise; there is a historical parallel at work.

Having said all this, I am sure you have noticed that I have not written a satire in a while. In less fractious times, I generally alternate between essays and satires each day. But in recent weeks, my life has been fractious at best. I am happy to have mustered the strength and mental intensity to write anything at all. My satirical ideas arise when I feel relatively carefree and confident about the future. I have not been feeling that way lately. To the contrary, I feel as if my mind is in a vice grip. I cannot really see past tomorrow or the next day. I live from hour to hour. Things have improved since last week, but I am not healed yet. Still, I am glad that I have the mental clarity to write a few essays, even if they are not as nuanced or expansive as usual.

I can assure you that more satire will land on these pages. It's just going to take a while until I can really laugh hard again. In the meantime, thanks for reading what I manage to throw down.

I'M HAVING A HARD WEEK : PLEASE BEAR WITH ME

It's unusual for me to go several days without writing a post. Since September last year, I have weathered many changes. I even moved from Chicago to New York. But I always managed to keep my mornings free to craft out the myriad ideas I had assembled for so long before I started writing this blog. This week, however, some real household problems sprang up that have denied me the chance to concentrate and write in the morning. Worse, they have made it hard for me to sleep, and I can't write anything when I'm exhausted.

I've never really written an "explanatory" post like this. But today I think it's appropriate because I really don't know when these hard times will end. My life partner is going through hell with medications; his troubles spill directly into my life. For the moment, I do not have any untroubled hours to spend writing. I have faith that things will improve soon, but I can't say how fast all this will pass. In the meantime, I must attend to some genuine stresses.

It is actually surprising that I have written for so long without a substantial interruption. But life rarely cooperates for long. I can't foresee how life will turn. I can't really even explain why things happen. I just need to step up and deal with them when life deals me funny cards.

Please feel free to browse me archives. And I promise to start posting again as soon as my circumstances permit.

I am so tired. I haven't slept a real night's sleep in about two weeks now. Please forgive me for suspending my writing until I get things under control here.

Oesterhoudt