Friday, November 7, 2008

THE EMPLOYMENT CORNER - GET A JOB, WILL YOU?

Hoode, Winkwell, Butkes & Babelwright LLC – A Limited Liability Company Consisting of Professional Corporations

“Worldwide Winning – It’s our policy”®

New York – Chicago – Los Angeles – Cleveland – Taipei – Bangalore – Bangkok – London – Athens – Frankfurt – St. PetersburgAddis Ababa – Marseilles – Ulan Bator

LAW FIRM CONSCIENCE PROTOCOL

Thank you for accepting employment with Hoode, Winkwell, Butkes & Babelwright. Employment is contingent upon your assent and agreement to the following Law Firm Conscience Protocol. You (“Employee”) understand that Hoode Winkwell (“Employer”) has sole discretion to hire, fire and modify all terms of employment otherwise set forth in the previously-executed Master Employment Agreement (“Master Agreement”).

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE : Employer owns and operates a professional legal services company specializing in maximum client satisfaction. Employer currently services Fortune 100 companies worldwide in antitrust matters, white collar criminal defense, mergers & acquisitions, tax advice, estate structuring, general commercial litigation, contract disputes, patent prosecution and defense, intellectual property and real estate sales and purchases. These matters are highly sensitive and involve highly sensitive, confidential information. Employer has no other purpose other than victory for our clients. Victory for our clients requires that all Employees clearly understand that no information about the client may be disseminated except in the course of client service. Employee also understands that Employer expects maximum productivity at all times consistent with all applicable firm protocols and procedures, notwithstanding any manifestations to the contrary by any party, authorized or unauthorized. Employee further understands that Employer runs a business, not an academy.

DEFINITIONS : (a) “You” refers to the Employee executing this Law Firm Conscience Protocol; (b) “Your” refers to the possessive capacity of the Employee executing this Law Firm Conscience Protocol, subject to Employer discretion and approval; (c) “We” refers to Employer; (d) “Our” refers to the possessive capacity of Employer, including but in no way limited to all the rights, powers and authorities set forth in the Master Agreement, in addition to all rights, powers and authorities allowed by law and custom; (e) “May” or “should” refer to a discretionary capacity to do or not to do something, or to believe or not to believe something; (f) “Must” or “shall” refer to a mandatory obligation to do or not to do something, or to believe or not to believe something; (g) “But,” “Unless,” “Except,” or “Provided” refer to a qualification or limitation of or exception to the terms immediately preceding them; (h) “Not” refers to a negation of the term or terms immediately preceding it, unless the term or terms are negative, in which case “not” refers to a certification of the positive sense of the term or terms.

1. You may possess a conscience, but only to the extent that it is consistent with Employer’s financial interests.

2. You must act in a manner consistent with Employer’s financial interests.

3. You may believe in anything you wish, but only to the extent that such beliefs do not impact Employer’s financial interests or Your productivity as monitored and controlled by Employer.

4. You must not feel moral compunction about anything our clients do or have done, or say or have said, notwithstanding any obligation owed under Professional Ethics Rules.

5. You may have an opinion different from a Partner of Employer, provided that You change such opinion as soon as is practicable. In no event shall such opinion ever differ to an extent necessary to harm Employer’s financial interests.

6. You may think about non-Employer-related matters, except when those matters interfere with Employer’s financial interests as solely determined by Employer.

7. You must not believe that Employer or any client of Employer ever does wrong.

8. You may believe that Employer does wrong, but you must act to eliminate all external evidence of such wrongdoing, as defined by applicable laws, regulations, codes or customs, as soon as practicable.

9. You must shred all incriminating documents consistent with Employer financial interests.

10. You may hold political and religious beliefs, but only when germane to and consistent with Employer financial interests.

11. You must not express any opinion contrary to an opinion held by Employer and Employer’s partners.

12. In case of governmental investigation into Employer’s business or professional practices, you must not divulge anything to anyone, even if you must suffer imprisonment for contempt.

13. You must swear the following oath prior to accepting employment with Employer: “I swear to advance Employer’s financial interests at all times until death or discharge, so help me God, and I swear never to hold any belief that would conflict with the financial mission of Employer or Employer’s clients.”

14. You may have doubts about the validity of a client’s case. But You must never allow those doubts to impede Employer’s victory in such case, even if contrary to fact.

15. You must destroy any harmful evidence discovered in the course of any investigation into the facts of any case.

16. You may have emotions, but only to the extent those emotions serve Employer’s financial interests as solely determined by Employer.

17. You may speak about Employer business, but only in a manner deemed satisfactory by Employer’s Speech Division.

18. You must always disbelieve anything said by opposing counsel.

19. You must always believe everything said by Our clients or Employer.

20. You may have an imagination, provided that such imagination maximizes Employer’s financial interests at all times.

21. You may tell the truth, but only to the extent that Your statements are consistent with Employer financial interests.

22. You must flatter any paying client.

23. You may accurately bill your time, provided in all events that You bill inaccurately when opportunity permits.

24. In any litigation matter, You must contradict everything said by Your opponent, and You must never admit fault on any matter whatsoever, unless admitting fault is necessary to maximize Employer’s financial interests.

25. You may be collegial and decent. But You must not be collegial and decent if collegiality and decency are not consistent with maximal Employer gain in the circumstances.

EMPLOYER RESERVES THE RIGHT TO SUPPLEMENT THIS LAW FIRM CONSCIENCE PROTOCOL AT ANY TIME, WITHOUT WARNING OR NOTICE TO YOU. REFUSAL TO EXECUTE ANY SUPPLEMENTAL LAW FIRM CONSCIENCE PROTOCOL MAY RESULT IN DISCIPLINARY ACTION, INCLUDING TERMINATION, SUSPENSION OF PAY OR RELEGATION TO THE MAIL ROOM.

Signed: ___________________
(Employee)

Dated: November 7, 2008

Congratulations! You are now part of a winning client service team. From all of us here at Hoode Winkwell, we wish you the best of luck in your career as a client service professional. Let’s stop talking; let’s start winning!

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