OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN

I have been writing satires for about 10 years. During that time, I occasionally had doubts about whether I should keep it up, because at times reality was more absurd than anything I could invent. At other times, what I once intended as a farce actually foreshadowed what actually happened later. That depressed me. After all, satire is supposed use exaggeration in order to expose the vice, corruption, hypocrisy, stupidity, overzealousness, illogical arguments, folly and all the other haughty failures of which powerful people are capable. It criticizes, but does not posit that its exaggerations will actually come to pass. But what is exaggeration one day may not be exaggeration the next. Human stupidity must never be underestimated.

I do not presume to say that my satires are "prescient." I certainly cannot tell the future. I simply observe people and their arguments. I follow their arguments where they ultimately lead, and--more often than not--they lead to absurdity.

Just two months ago, I wrote a "political party statement" satire about a farcical "Republican Mother." I publish it below. In it, I draw a caricature. I thought I was exaggerating to make my point. Then, a few weeks ago, Sarah Palin materialized on the political scene. To my chagrin, my satire suddenly became reality. Does this make me feel vindicated? No. If I satirize something, I hope to show that it should be rejected in principle. But in this case, I satirized something, and now it forms the entire basis for the Republican presidential platform. Now, absurdity does not provide a warning or a laugh; it actually guides serious policy. That is frightening.


Republican Mothers in Defense of Normalcy, Propriety, Decency and Appropriate Behavior

(Written July 2008... before Sarah Palin became a household name)

By: Mrs. Susan Ridewell Crotchford, (Lt. Col. – Ret.) Headmistress

Thanks to years of Democratic rule, moral decay has burrowed deeply into the fabric of this Nation. Abnormal sexual behaviors, wasteful spending, teenage pregnancy, irresponsible lifestyle choices and dishonesty threaten to permanently destroy the proud heritage of responsibility that made this country great in decades past. We must rescue the United States from the rot inflicted by Democratic permissiveness. To do this, we insist on a return to normalcy, propriety, decency and appropriate behavior in all circumstances. These are values for which all Republicans stand; one look at any Republican confirms that he is not only normal, but also decent, responsible, honest and—above all—appropriate. We must instill Republican values in every heart. That means returning to responsibility in life, faith and business. That means paying one’s bills before they are due. That means saving one’s money, not spending it on trinkets. That means refraining from sexual activity before marriage. That means honoring the marriage vow. That means engaging only in procreative sexual activity, and only within marriage. That means recognizing the roles of husband and wife. That means rearing one’s children, not fleeing one’s obligations like a jungle beast. That means telling the truth, even when it leads to severe consequences. That means protecting children at any cost, including sacrificing our own Constitutional rights. It also means living normally. We must no longer tolerate late nights, swearing, alcohol-drinking and extramarital affairs. Good people go to bed at 9 PM, even on weekends. Democratic insistence on “fun” and “relaxation” has plunged this Nation into wickedness. In this election, tell the world that you refuse to be deviant. Tell the world that you believe in normalcy, frugality and decency. It is high time that we—as a united Nation—stepped up and announced that we believe in a single virtue: responsibility.