Monday, September 15, 2008


The High Net Worth Business Club for Enhanced Voting Power

By : Mr. G. Larchmont Gaines, Chief Executive Officer and Party Whip

Our great Declaration of Independence assures us that: “All Men are created Equal.” True, every American is born into this world with precisely the same advantages. No man is better than another simply by virtue of birth. Every American is equal in human worth to every other American. But this equality allows for opportunity, and opportunity leads to success. Not every American will grasp opportunity; that is why only a few will truly achieve success in life. While we all begin equal, only a few will capitalize on that equality. Success is what America is all about. Successful people drive this Nation in politics, business, banking and finance. Successful people know what needs to be done and they do it. Successful people have a plan, and the Nation benefits as a whole from their tireless efforts. Because successful people provide such benefits to America, we believe that our government should accord them greater respect. Although we live in a great democracy where everyone’s voice may be heard, we believe that some voices should be more clearly heard than others. Does the Nation truly benefit from hearing a beggar’s voice on Election Day? Would our Nation not advance further by listening more closely to those citizens who actually have contributed to our wealth and prominence? We believe that it would. For that reason, we, The High Net Worth Business Club for Enhanced Voting Power, demand increased electoral strength in order to properly guide this Nation to continued success. It is our position that individuals with net worth exceeding $1,000,000 have demonstrated “success” in America. Success entitles them to a greater leadership role. Anyone worth more than $1,000,000 should be entitled to 10,000 popular votes, not 1. And for each additional $1,000,000 in an individual’s net worth, he should be entitled to another 10,000 popular votes. Individuals with a net worth over $10,000,000 should be entitled to 1,000,000 popular votes, and another 1,000,000 for each $1,000,000 over $10,000,000. Finally, billionaires should be allowed to decide a State’s electoral choice outright, unless there is another billionaire in the State, in which case other votes would be counted. Granting greater political strength to successful people will put this Nation on the path to greater success. Additionally, it will encourage individuals to make more money in order to gain greater electoral power. Put simply, our Nation should reward success, not demean it by equating a millionaire’s vote with a beggar’s. Vote to reward success in 2008. Vote for the spirit of opportunity that animates America. Vote for a party that will ensure that the best candidates are elected—every time, and in every State.

Unashamed Brigands’ Alliance for Cronyism, Thievery, Nepotism and Corruption in Government

By : Mr. David D. Larrabee, Party Chairman and Former Construction Contractor

Change. Hope. Dreams for America. A Better Tomorrow. You’ve heard it all before, and you don’t believe a word of it. You know that, no matter your vote, the candidates will ultimately ignore their lofty campaign ideals and simply resort to “business as usual” in Washington. “Why do I even bother?” you wonder aloud. But you have an alternative: Unashamed Brigands’ Alliance for Cronyism, Thievery, Nepotism and Corruption in Government. We believe that Government exists for a single reason: To enrich elected officials and their friends. Because we have a private interest in our public jobs, we fight that much harder to win. And who doesn’t love a winner? We pledge to fight our political opponents without a shred of decency or dignity. We pledge to avoid debate on any substantive issue in this country. We pledge to fabricate outright lies about our political opponents’ personal histories. We pledge to recover information on every single sexual encounter our political opponents have ever had and to show our opponents to be lying, untrustworthy, no-good, hypocritical swindlers. We will mock their ideals and label their plans to rescue the economy “self-motivated,” “unrealistic,” “inexperienced rumination,” “foolhardy,” and “disingenuous.” By contrast, we will candidly admit that we will do nothing to rescue the economy. We will openly seek office solely to give our local friends prestigious jobs and to benefit ourselves from government contracting. No one will ever accuse us of hypocrisy because we publicly declare that we have no principles beyond our own self-enrichment. Yet we will never fail to passionately declare that “We love America.” Furthermore, we will say “God Bless America” at every public event. We promise to funnel government business to companies we partially own. We promise to take long vacations at taxpayer expense. We promise to allow our children to use government aircraft to attend private social events. We promise to pardon and/or refuse to prosecute individuals who remain loyal to us. We promise to appoint officials who never question our policies. And we promise to fire any official who threatens to investigate us. Our country is ready for honest government. It does not want to be disappointed with slogans such as “Together We Can,” “Let’s Make a Difference,” “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” or “A Brighter Future.” This year, do not allow two-faced scoundrels to delude you with bright-eyed rhetoric about “change.” It is time to fight hypocrisy. It is time to get realistic about government. Cast your vote for Unashamed Brigands in 2008.

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