Monday, September 29, 2008


America Must Protect Portugal from Imminent Russian Aggression

By : Sarah Louise Heath Palin, Candidate for the Office of Vice President of the United States and President of the United States Senate; Governor of the Democratic Republic of the State of Alaska; Foreign Policy Expert

Alaskans have broad experience in foreign relations matters. Unlike any other American State, Alaska is situated between two foreign Nations: Canada to our South and Russia to our West. Internationalists routinely complain that America’s comparative isolation from foreign neighbors disqualifies her from effective foreign policy. These complaints do not apply to Alaska. Like a central European Nation, we are a State surrounded by foreign adversaries. We understand diplomacy because we have to.

As Governor of Alaska, I obtained valuable experience in foreign policy practice. I oversaw trade missions across the Bering Strait to Russia. Although I was not physically present during those trade missions, I heard they went well. Our emissaries reported that the transactions between East Siberian port officials and West Alaskan fur merchants proceeded without substantial hitch. Additionally, our merchants reported that the Russians were somewhat suspicious hosts.

Personally, I have never left American territory. But I have learned a lot about the world through books. Many young people backpack through Europe and even Asia during college. I worked for a living. I had to educate myself about foreign lands through books, and I did an excellent job. I understand what makes countries tick. My experience as mayor of Wasilla and later as Governor of Alaska only reinforced my international acumen. I routinely heard reports about Canadian cross-border foraging and I took measures to ensure expedited passport checking procedures at all Canadian highway crossings. In short, my tenure as Governor has uniquely qualified me to speak on foreign policy matters.

Just last week I posed for photographs with the Pakistani President, whose name I cannot pronounce. During that photo session, I heard stories about Pakistan and India that were very interesting. In return, I told stories about Alaska, including my secret recipe for elk burger seasoning. I made polite conversation about freedom and the United States. I also mentioned that I was running for Vice President with John McCain. I said that I had read books about Pakistan and knew the name of its capital city: Baghdad. The Pakistani President was extremely impressed with my knowledge. He wished me well in my future endeavors. It felt invigorating to represent the United States in a diplomatic capacity.

But not all diplomatic missions can be so cordial. Alaska’s proximity to Russia only reinforces the serious nature of foreign policy questions. Based upon reports I received from West Alaskan fur merchants, I have learned that Russia is a wily and dangerous competitor. I have seen several movies about Russia, including Red Dawn, Dr. Strangelove and The Hunt for Red October. I also heard that Russia used to be a Communist country, and that is not good at all. Recently, I also heard that Russia invaded its defenseless southern neighbor, Georgia. At first I pictured Russian tanks in Atlanta, but an advisor later told me that there is another Georgia near Russia, not the Georgia near Disney World.

That news relieved me, but Russia is still dangerous. Putin may rear his ugly head at any moment. I heard that he is no longer the Russian President, but West Alaskan fur merchants reported that several Russians were discussing an imminent Russian attack on Portugal during a recent trade mission in Anchorage. Considering what Russia has already done in Georgia, we must take seriously every threat of future Russian aggression.

Portugal is a free and beautiful country. I have not been there, but I have read a book about Portugal. They grow oranges there. There are beautiful seaside towns and vacation escapes. The Portuguese are peace-loving people. They love freedom and equality. They have faith, just like Americans. As far as I know, Portugal borders Russian territory. That means that Russia may at any moment engulf Portugal in tyranny. We must not allow this to happen. We must take a stand to stop Russian aggression. I agree with Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice: It is not 1968 anymore. My calendar says it is 2008. Obviously she is right. It is not 1967, either. In fact, it is currently no year other than 2008.

Russia must not remain unchecked. If we allow Russia to conquer Portugal, what is next? The Sudan? Bolivia? These are valuable U.S. allies. I have read books on all of them, and it would be simply tragic if Putin were allowed to make them Russian. The United States has a moral duty to protect Portugal now. We must not allow Portugal to go Georgia’s way. And because Portugal is so close to Russia, we must do something immediately. We could start by sending a trade mission to Moscow and demanding that Russia cease all hostile action toward Portugal. We should confront them with the statements obtained from the West Alaskan fur merchants and demand an explanation. Good diplomacy at times requires confrontation. And when it comes to defending Portugal, testy dialogue is a risk we must take.

Obviously no one wants a war. John McCain hates war, and so do I. Still, threatening war is a legitimate diplomatic tool. I recommend demanding that Russia abandon its aggressive plans against Portugal or risk war with the United States and its Allies. This is the only way to deal with Putin. He only understands strength. If he wants to wage war on freedom in Portugal, he must deal with us, too. The United States fights countries that fight freedom. We do not tolerate dictators anywhere. That is why we attacked Iraq, and that is why we will defend Portugal.

Let us stand with our beleaguered Portuguese brethren. We must not delay a single moment in curtailing Russian aggression. We must not allow Russia to invade countries at will. Nations of freedom do not invade other countries. Let us come together to defend Portugal—and freedom—from the Russian hordes. Here is my diplomatic message to the Russian aggressors: Hands off Portugal, you dirty commies.

1 comment:

Raquel said...

Good one!!! I just read the Kathleen Parker, some conservative columnist, piece calling Palin to step down for the sake of the party and the McCain run.

I still have to read the others, but I can't wait!!!