POLITICAL PARTIES FOR A CHANGING WORLD

More for Us, Less for You Party

By : Philip G. Egalitrice, Party Selectman and Policy Chief

For decades, American politicians on both sides have extolled virtues such as “equality,” “justice,” “fairness” and “a better life for all.” America is the greatest Nation on Earth because our economy allows every man to enrich himself to the maximum extent his merit will permit. While we certainly appreciate the noble sentiments expressed by our forbears, we live in the real world. In the real world, resources are limited. Not everyone can get as large a slice of the pie as he may wish. Our party proudly supports those who have more, not less. And we believe that government should ensure that we continue to get more, while those with less stay that way. Self-advancement and social mobility are wonderful principles. But it is now 2008. There is not as much room in the clubhouse as there once was. The pie has been sliced, and we have more than you. That’s the way it is. In this election, we aim to keep it that way. There is no injustice in this; would anyone truly argue that government should take away what is rightfully yours? It is time for government to stop trying to balance the scales. Instead, government must protect those who have more against those who whine that they have less. There are reasons we have more: We were here first; we worked harder; our parents were more successful; we were luckier; we did not get sick; we did not have profligate children; we had stable marriages; we did not have accidents; we stayed at our jobs; we had property to invest. There are reasons you have less: You did not get an education; you did not get an inheritance; the job market is not what it once was; you got sick and spent all your savings; you are lazy; your spouse died; you had a breakdown; you failed a test; you were laid off. We sympathize with you, but it is not our problem that you have less. And it certainly is not the government’s obligation to give you what is not yours. The time is over for wasting resources on fruitless attempts to correct economic imbalance. The time is now for giving us more—and you less. Vote for economic sensibility in 2008. Stop whining that you never had a chance to get your fair shot at the pie. The pie has been sliced. Get real. Recognize that government exists to keep us where we are, and to preserve resources. Take a stand to stop the waste. Vote to give us more.

Large Business United Against Small Business

By : B. Brooks “Chipper” Gross III, Chairman of the Board of Directors and Strategic Manager

Fortune 500 companies provide invaluable services to the American people. From groceries to housewares to automotive parts to electronics, large companies give American consumers what they want for the lowest cost. Isn’t that what we want? Yet large companies face increasingly difficult economic challenges for a simple reason: Small businesses are trying to butt in on us. Local interlopers from coast to coast are diverting consumers with “mom-n-pop” stores that offer goods and services with “individualized” flair. These small businesses may not know it, but in the aggregate their efforts are damaging large businesses. And when large business suffers, so does the American consumer. It is time to shut down these small fry once and for all. It is time to protect the American consumer. In our modern economy, people want “more stuff” at low price; they don’t care about polite conversation or “family-style” service at the check-out counter. Large companies understand this. We leverage our massive capital reserves to deliver goods and services for the lowest possible price. We keep costs down by paying less for manufacturing, labor, employee benefits and rent, allowing us to pass the savings onto the consumer. We offer the greatest product variety and best customer support network. We offer reasonable credit programs that allow consumers to buy things when they want, even if they can’t afford them. And who doesn’t love savings, free credit cards and great customer support? Yet small business continues to harass the American consumer with old-fashioned stores that do not offer credit, provide no customer support and charge higher prices. Small business defames large business every day. They label us “job-killing giants,” “Goliath retailers,” “oil barons,” “unfair competitors” and “soulless profit chains.” This year, our party aims to stop the attack on large business. We aim to show that large business exists to help the American people, not to exploit them. If elected, we promise to eradicate the small business menace. We promise to allow only those companies with sufficient capital reserves to do business in America. Vote for savings in 2008. Vote for proven business skill. Vote for truthful business practices and product variety. Vote for consumer rights. You want more credit opportunities and lower prices, don’t you? If you answered yes, vote for Large Business Against Small Business. Speak out for Large Business in 2008. Your pocketbook will thank you in 2009.